When we started this blog, we did it in order to share. We have shared laughter, recipes, tips, DIY decorating and several other things. The one thing that I have not shared were some extremely painful experiences that started shortly after having started our blog and Facebook page as well as the wonderful turns my life has taken since then.
Well…. today is the day!
I am going to go over some of these things not because I feel that I need to, but because they may be helpful to others and because as I do from time to time….I am coming to you for some help.
In 2012 my husband of 9 years started having an affair with….well I think we will just call her “the Mistress”. This affair continued until he walked out on me in 2014. In between there were many tears, lies upon lies to not only me but family and friends, promises that he had stopped seeing her on no less than 3 separate occasions as well as a a short time in which I honestly believe that he had stopped seeing her in an attempt to repair not only our marriage but his relationship with his children. We purchased a new house and made plans for a future.
4 months after purchasing our new home I found out, while he was on a trip, that he was still communicating with the Mistress. I confronted him with the information that I had and he walked out.
I will be honest, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through all of this. The stress, the pain as well as the feeling of loss loss of not only my husband but the future that we had planned with our children and grandchild …. it almost destroyed me.
With the help of God, a very supportive family (both mine and his) as well as some VERY awesome friends, I made it through.
My husband quit his job and he and the Mistress moved to Hawaii a couple months after he walked out without even telling his children, while I picked up the pieces of my life, tried to find a job after having been out of the work force for many years and filed court papers to try to get some support from him. I was left with a mountain of debt which I had no way to repay. I hadn’t worked for several years (at his request), instead I had stayed home and raised my daughter as well as his son and teenage daughter when she came to live with us.
A few months after he left, a friend of ours named Tom, offered his help on several occasions with things that I just could not do on my own. We would hang out, talk, cry and laugh. We found that we shared a common love of cooking and would spend time coming up with different recipes to have each other try. Eventually this friendship blossomed into more.
Eventually my divorce was final, I was having a great time with my friends and family, working in the legal field and really enjoying my relationship with Tom. The only thing that continued to hold me to my past with my ex-husband, were the court proceedings trying to get him to take some responsibility for the debt that we had incurred during our marriage. I finally decided that it wasn’t worth it. I wanted to get on with my life and leave the past in the past. I was happy for the first time in many years and didn’t want to keep getting dragged back to my past every time there was another court date. I dropped the case all together.
In December of 2015 Tom purposed and I happily accepted. We have been planning our wedding that is set for this Fall as well as our future.
I am truly happy and have never looked back.
I am sure y’all are wondering why I am telling you this. Well while I was moving forward with my life, apparently others are not or can not.
A couple months back I noticed an extremely mean and nasty post on the Two Southern Sweeties Facebook page. I quickly deleted it and blocked the person. The person that posted it was “the Mistress”. She didn’t post it under her actual name, as I have had her and my ex blocked on Facebook for years, she took the time to make up an entire new Facebook profile in order to do it. Now I am used to people calling me names, I usually just blow it off and consider the source, however in the comment she posted, she eluded to a very personal and private thing from my past that apparently my ex had shared with her. Her reasoning for posting it…. she wanted to make sure that Tom knew about my past.
I am sure you are asking yourselves, how do I know it was her and how do I know her motives behind posting it. Well, I have a friend that is an acquaintance of hers. The Mistress contacted my friend and asked her about a post that my daughter made on her personal Facebook page. The post was about wedding ideas for Tom and I. (The Mistress was stalking not only my Two Southern Sweeties page under her new profile, but my daughters Facebook page as well.) The Mistress was very upset that I seemed to be planning a wedding at the same time she was planning her wedding to my ex-husband (fyi I had no idea they were engaged nor did I or do I care). She said that she was tired of this feeling like some competition with me. She also told my friend that she posted the nasty comment on Two Southern Sweeties and exactly why she posted it. It was then explained to the Mistress that Tom was well aware of the things she was referring to about my past and had known since the second time he and I had gotten together as friends. I would also like to assure you, the Mistress knows that this information was shared with me as my friend told her that she was currently on the phone with me. My friend even explained to her that it was a bit weird that she was doing all of this, especially stalking my daughters Facebook page.
As I said, this all took place several months ago. Since then, I have continued on with my happy life enjoying my children, grandchild and planning my wedding and future with the man that I love.
HELP!!!! (This is where y’all come in)
Yesterday, I received an email from the Mistress. I have posted the email below and am coming to y’all for help because I am just am not sure how to respond or if I should respond at all.
I am really not sure why she feels the need to be concerned or involved in my life.
In the email she talks about clearing the air between us, that there is apparently some “drama” going on and that we should have coffee to be able to move forward and leave the past in the past and have a better future. None of these things are issues for me. In order for there to be any issues between us, I would actually have to care and I don’t.
I believe the only reason she sent me this email is that my ex-husband found out that she had made the post and had been stalking both my Two Southern Sweeties page as well as my daughters.
I feel that she should just move on with her life and be happy. I just wish for her to leave me alone and more importantly…leave my daughter alone!!!
I hope that this post may help those that may be experiencing difficult times to understand that the storm doesn’t last forever, the sun eventually comes out.
I welcome any advice or comments as to how to deal with this situation.
Make it a great day!
Original emal from “the Mistress”
I’m happy for you and Tom. Congratulations on everything.
The reason for my email is to apologize for any issues that I caused you due to a post made a while back. It was not the right thing to do. It was done in haste and not like me. I’m sorry for that.
It is my intentions to see if you would be willing to have coffee one day to clear the air between us. The drama is unnecessary and doesn’t get either one of us anywhere.
I can’t change what happened but I can accept my responsibility in it and try to make some kind of amends with it.
My hope is that we can all move forward and let the past be the past and try to let the future be better.
With kind regards,