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The Land That Made Me, Me
The Land That Made Me, Me Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,Before the days of Dylan , or the dawn of Camelot.There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me. For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born, Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn. We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince, Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one’s seen him since. We danced to ‘Little Darlin,’ and sang to ‘Stagger Lee’And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me. Only girls wore earrings then, and…
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The Special Occasion Napkins
The Special Occasion Napkins My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping ”napkins’ in the bathroom. Didn’t they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for ‘special occasions’ (her second mistake). Now fast forward a few months …. It’s Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom…
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Yearly Dementia Test
Our Yearly Dementia Test It’s that time of year for us to take our annual dementia test.Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use it, you lose it!Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you’re losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and…
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Where Did “Piss Poor” and Other Phrases Come From?
Have you ever wondered where the phrase “piss poor” came from? Or maybe some other phrases that we have heard throughout the years such as “it’s raining cats and dogs”? Well, here are some “versions” of the answers! Where did “Piss Poor” come from? Interesting history. They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot. And then once it was full it was taken and sold to the tannery… if you had to do this to survive you were “Piss Poor”. But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot… They “didn’t have…
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Do NOT Mess With a Senior Citizen!
Do NOT mess with a Senior Citizen! Lucille decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high. “I agree it’s a nice hotel, but the rooms aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay – I didn’t even have breakfast!” The clerk told her that $250.00 is the ‘standard rate,’ and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk…
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20 Things A True Southerner Knows
20 Things A True Southerner Knows There are certain things that you just know. For instance, your nationality, your family, your upbringing, etc… you just “know”. How many of these do y’all know to be true? Be sure to let us know if there are some that you would add. 1. The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption. 2. Pretty much how many fish make up a mess. 3. What general direction Cattywumpus is. 4. That “gimme sugar” don’t mean “pass me the sugar.” 5. That when somebody’s “fixin” to do something, it won’t be long. 6. How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a…
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How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket
Two Southern Sweeties How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket Have y’all ever gotten that sick, sinking feeling when driving down the road and you suddenly see a police car behind you with it’s lights on? For a moment you think perhaps it’s not really you that they are pulling over, well it could be possible. I mean think of the last time you were going about a bit faster than you should have and that cop car came racing up behind ya and just when you were starting to freak out… he blasted right past you to pull someone else over. Sadly, this does not look like it…
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On The First Day…
On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?” And God said that it was good. On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.” The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long…
