Now That I’m Older Here’s What I’ve Discovered

Now That I’m Older Here’s What I’ve Discovered is a humorous look at many things that we learn throughout our lives. As we get older we learn some very valuable lessons, some of them truly funny when you get down to it. We hope you will enjoy reading it.

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1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It’s a lot easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck did stop here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re
in the bathroom.

14. If I was supposed to touch my toes, they would be on my knees.

15. When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to
play chess?

16. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . they’re everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . .
.I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m hereafter.

19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

20. DID I POST THESE BEFORE……….??????

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